Internet News Reading Down 80% Due to Unreliable April 1st Trends

Posted by:
Date: Tuesday, April 1st, 2014, 08:14
Category: Apple, Finance, Humor, News

Portrait of shocked business woman looking at computer in officePeople who are used to getting their daily news from online news sources and blogs have finally given up on reading anything on the web, as the yearly trend to post fake stories to the internet on April 1st continues. The online statistics service AdNumbers stated today that ad revenue from online marketing and banner ads, as of 8:00 AM EST, was down nearly 80% as workers across the country resorted to getting some work done rather than be duped by mischievous journalists and bloggers. ADNumbers representative Nick O’Parkman stated, “Everyone is just fed up. They go to the internet to read news on April 1st and they don’t know what to believe anymore, so now they don’t bother! It is really cutting into our bottom line.”

Medical health journalist, Dr. Eugene Simmons suggests that in the past this trend has been dangerous to unsuspecting news readers, in particular investors and individuals with large stock portfolios, who might read that Apple Inc. is producing a line of computers with no keyboard, Tonk Hawk is promoting a working hoverboard, or that Apple plans to acquire iFixit.* Past hoaxes included rumors that Steve Ballmer was going to become CEO of Microsoft.** “Such outrageous stories have been know to cause heart-attacks, nervous break-downs, and unwarranted stock sellouts, which could hurt our already fragile economy”, says Simmons.

In a related story, the Onion News Network posted a TRUE news story today….and nobody noticed.

 

 

*Touché iFixit, touché

**oh right, that one was real, it just sounded far-fetched

[Re-posted with permission from myself who originally wrote a version of this for April 1st 2009]

 

 

Smell-O-Vision for the iPhone?

Posted by:
Date: Friday, December 13th, 2013, 08:23
Category: Accessory, App Store, Apps, Gadget, Game, Humor, iOS, iPhone, Software, User Interface

e1eed_popcorn3_610x380It was bound to happen eventually. Believe it or not, crafty inventors have been trying to include more human senses to the media experience since 1906. Many attempts to provide audiences with this additional dimension in films resulted in many creative attempts, but has yet to provide a satisfactory experience. There has to be some parallels to the film industry and these unique attempts at box-office draw and the developing popularity of smartphones. I bet a study could be done on this, but likely people would find it as interesting as smell-o-vision itself, which was negligible.

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Internet News Reading Down 80% Due to Unreliable April 1st Trends

Posted by:
Date: Wednesday, April 1st, 2009, 17:07
Category: Humor, News

People used to getting their daily news from internet news sources and blogs have finally given up reading the news online as the yearly trend to post fake news on April 1st continues. The online statistics service AdNumbers stated today that ad revenue from online marketing and banner ads, as of 5:00 PM EST, was down nearly 80%. ADNumbers representative Nick O’Parkman stated, “Everyone is just fed up. They go to the internet to read news on April 1st and they don’t know what to believe anymore, so now they don’t bother!”
fedup.jpg
Medical health journalist, Dr. Eugene Simmons suggests that in the past this trend has been dangerous to unsuspecting news readers, in particular investors and individuals with large stock portfolios who might read that Apple Inc. is producing a line of computers with no keyboard, or that Steve Ballmer is going to be CEO of Microsoft. “Such outrageous stories have been know to cause heart-attacks, nervous break-downs, and unwarranted stock sellouts, which could hurt our already fragile economy”, says Simmons.
In a related story, the Onion News Network posted a TRUE news story today….and nobody noticed.

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The Half-a-Million Dollar Mac (Updated)

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Date: Friday, July 20th, 2007, 10:13
Category: Humor

Apple_Mac Pro 8-Core (2 Quad-Core 3GHz Intel Xeon Processors) 4GB RAM, 250GB HD with Parallels Desktop and Microsoft Vista Ultimate preinstalledThere is a Mac for sale at OnSale.com for over a half million dollars… It’s got to be a mistake. Do they want the Windows people to think Macs are that overpriced or something? (Thanks Andrew).

Apple_Mac Pro 8-Core (2 Quad-Core 3GHz Intel Xeon Processors) 4GB RAM, 250GB HD with Parallels Desktop and Microsoft Vista Ultimate preinstalled Apple Mac Pro 8-Core (2 Quad-Core 3GHz Intel Xeon Processors) 4GB RAM, 250GB HD with Parallels Desktop and Microsoft Vista Ultimate preinstalled.
Two 3GHz Quad-Core 3.0GHz Intel Xeon processors, 4GB RAM, NVIDIA GeForce 7300 GT graphics with 256MB memory, 250GB hard drive, 16x double-layer SuperDrive

500k-mac.png

onSale.com – Buy Desktop Computers, Laptop Computers, Digital Cameras, and Electronics
Update: the price has been corrected to US$4,741.96.

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Steve Jobs announces the iPhone on SNL

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Date: Tuesday, January 16th, 2007, 20:14
Category: Humor

“Steve Jobs” (a.k.a. Fred Armisen) announces the iPhone on SNL:

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Microsoft Takes Poke at Apple Ads With Zune Video

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Date: Friday, December 15th, 2006, 08:23
Category: Humor

According to a story on Engadget, Microsoft has posted a parody Apple’s famous “I’m a Mac, and I’m a PC” ad series, comparing a Zune user to an iPod user. The ad was apparently screened at a recent company meeting and emphasized the difficulties in sharing music between iPods as opposed to the push-button ease of a Zune as well as other purported shortcomings of the iPod (such as an ability to collect scratches easily, the steps needed to sync music to the device, etc.)
The video is completely safe for work:




If you have any suggestions, comments or ideas, let us know.

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Mock iPhone Concept Drawing Hits the Web

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Date: Friday, December 8th, 2006, 08:46
Category: Humor

It may be something that’s either extremely clever or a complete waste of time, but Wired News has reported that several Photoshop jockeys have delivered a concept model of a fake Apple iPhone.
The mock-up, which hints at a rotary dial button system rather than digital push buttons, mounts the phone on a fourth generation iPod body, complete with clickwheel.
Cool stuff and amazing work. Despite the fervor surrounding the potential release of an iPhone device at the upcoming Macworld Expo, it’s nice to remember that there are those who would notice how worked up we’re getting – and still tease us about it.

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Apple Accidentally Sells MacBook with Pre-Loaded Porn

Posted by:
Date: Friday, December 1st, 2006, 08:28
Category: Humor

Consumer advocacy site The Consumerist has reported that a customer was shocked to find that a MacBook he had purchased from the London Apple Store for his 11-year old daughter contained a desktop full of adult material.
The following instant message conversation covers the reaction between the buyer’s friend and The Consumerist’s Ben Popken:
RKH: me mate just bought a “refreshed” Macbook from the Apple Store here in London, turned it on once he got home and found porn on the desktop
fakeout: how refreshing!
RKH: apple sells “refreshed” machines at a 15% discount
fakeout: It’s supposed to be clean of everything I assume, including porn
fakeout: What kind of porn was it?
RKH: didn’t say
fakeout: how much porn?
RKH: just said there was a “desktop full of JPGs”
fakeout: How does he feel about it?
RKH: he’s pretty shocked, he bought it for his 11-year old daughtre
RKH: daughter
fakeout: Is he going to complain?
RKH: he filed a complaint with the OfCom ombudsman
RKH: and he’s going to call his MP tomorrow
fakeout: MP?
RKH: member of Parliament
fakeout: Not going to talk to Apple?
RKH: OFCOM will handle that part
RKH: a government agency tends to have more power than individual consumers
fakeout: That’s cool they will go to bat for him
RKH: they go to bat for anyone who complains about a company
fakeout: We should get one of those over here
RKH: Carphone Warehouse got a L5mil fine for overcharging VAT on purchases a few years ago.
fakeout: it would be great to get a photo of the desktop with the jpgs on it
RKH: he reformatted the drive and reinstalled OS X from his Tiger CD
Parenthood may not be simple, but systems CDs might make it a bit easier. It might just be worth the time to things check over before you hand a new system over to your children this holiday season…
Let us know if you’ve heard anything else.

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Stephen Colbert v. Wikipedia

Posted by:
Date: Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006, 00:01
Category: Humor

Disclaimer: this post has nothing to do with the Mac or Apple, I just found it hilarious.
Stephen Colbert did a segment on his show last night about how easy it is to edit Wikipedia.
Watch:


Not being able to resist, I checked out the Wikipedia entries for The Colbert Report (currently protected from editing until disputes have been resolved) and Elephant (displaying a “stable” version).
Then I saw this post by the Tawker who is the person that blocked Colbert:

In all, we ended up protecting 20 elephant related pages (I’m not listing them all here, I only have so much disk space :) , my stats for the the anti vandalism bots show 250 or so elephant related pages reverts. Most were, you guessed it, the fact that the population tripled – way too many times (repetition my friend).

Gold, I tell you. That Wikipedia is Gold!

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The Latest Edition to the Jobs Family

Posted by:
Date: Tuesday, August 1st, 2006, 22:03
Category: Humor

Apple of My Eye

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